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January 2012
Index of all
past
Affiliate Corner columns
First, declutter the guilts
By Connie Ellefson
Clear the Space
Recently I helped organize the cubicle of an up-and-coming REALTOR®. Her small space was packed to the gills with papers, papers, and more papers.
She's all about pro-actively bringing good things into her life, so we worked diligently—and it didn't take more than three to four hours—to root out all that stress-inducing clutter.
As I often find, a good 70 percent of the paper was outdated—expired listings, defunct brochures, and general detritus that was super easy to recycle out the door.
My client, unlike many I work with, didn't waste one second of our time beating herself up about how it had gotten that way. She knew that my byword, "non-judgmental," meant she didn't need to apologize for the mess.
The hurdle to clear
Unfortunately, guilt is a hurdle that looms large in many endeavors, not just in clearing our living and working spaces.
So here are my top four reasons to declutter the guilts first:
1. Wow! Have you looked at all you're doing these days? Managing a tricky career, keeping family, friends, and your accountant happy, planning for retirement, running a home, volunteering, taking time for spiritual refreshment, getting in some exercise and a little R&R. No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed!
2. Let's face it. Our culture has hooked on accumulating the most toys and coolest wardrobe for well over sixty years, aided by inexpensive imported goods.
3. Guilt – a habit we learn growing up, thanks to well-meaning but sometimes overzealous mentors teaching us how to be "good" human beings. With guilt a little goes a long way, and most of us have WAY more than is medically necessary.
4. It takes up SO much time with very little payout except tied hands, queasy stomachs, and stalled-out dreams.
How to declutter the guilts, and get on with it?
1. Acknowledge yourself for all you do, and that there are only so many hours in a day. Strategize ways to simplify your routine and your environment. Prioritize what's really important to you in your "mission," not just what others tell you.
2. Over-consumption is out, thanks to the downturn. The upside is we're learning how fun it can be to spend time with, rather than money on, friends and family.
3. Tell that echoing parental voice in your head, "Thanks, but I already am a good person, even when I don't do things to your standards." Rinse, repeat.
4. Instead of a time log, keep a "guilt" log for a day. Make a check mark every time you catch yourself feeling guilty, and ask yourself if it's really justified. You're going to be laughing by the end of the day, because it's ludicrous how much time we devote to needless guilt. Make a pact with yourself to reverse at least half those guilt trips.
By the way—my client? Not long after we cleared her space she moved up to an office of her own at her realty firm. I like to think I had a hand in that, since her pared-down yet personalized office looks just like where a successful REALTOR would work. But the truth is, her own guilt-decluttered mindset is what really put her over the top! |
